Those Wild Orgies
by Fire.Rose.Black
Summary: A basic mockery of alot of things.


**Warnings: **Fear my mockingness! Suggestiveness. Pre-HPBness. Yaoiness. nessingness

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Harry Potter, would I be mocking it? I also don't own Eminem

**Summary: **A ficlet making fun of the usual harry potter fanfic

-The Beginning-

Harry Potter was an angsty little boy. He hated the Dursleys. He missed Sirius. He really hated Voldemort. Then Ron came and took him skiing, but then they went to the burrow instead. So Harry angsted about that too. If you were deprived of flying down a slope at dangerously high speeds while standing on poles and swerving to miss tourists and trees, you'd understand his sadness.

Then the Hogwarts letters came. Harry was head boy, even though there was probably a much more qualified Ravenclaw who was actually old enough to be Head Boy. Hermione was head girl. She was at the Burrow as well, inexplicably. Apparently she'd be lured there by the promise of Eminem. Who knew Hermione liked Eminem?

They spent the rest of the time snogging. Hermione snogged anyone with red hair in hopes of getting Ron, And Harry snogged his angst. Ginny tried to snog Harry but he was busy with his angst so she just snogged her life size sex toy of him. Then they went to the train

On the train they had an encounter with Malfoy. They traded insults as always, in an encounter filled with sexual tension. Because they were mostly all teenage boys, however, the sexual tension soon disintegrated the situation into a snogfest again. Ron and Hermione snogged each other, Harry snogged his angst again, Ginny snogged Neville, Seamus and Dean snogged each other, Crabbe and Goyle snogged, and then Draco Avedra Kedavra-ed Harry's angst so that he'd get to snog the Boy Who Lived To Snog.

When they got to school, they ate food and Harry's angst came back to life so Harry would stay in character. Sort of. Dumbeldore said something mysterious and suspicious that everyone should remember because it will be important later. Then they headed upstairs. Hermione slept in the boys dormitory.

The next day Harry had trouble staying awake because of Hermione and Ron's wild sex the night before going on beside him. It was very graphic and actually turned him on so right now he was undressing everyone with his eyes, which was a neat feat of magic and caused mass havoc in the Great Hall.

The year went by. Snape was mean, and Harry played in lots of quidditch matches, and was probably injured in at least one of them. He still won them thoughso don't worry. This cuased lots of sexual tension between him and the other seekers and he found out why Quidditch, in latin, means 'mass-orgy'. It made the Slytherin game much more exciting. Dumb Bell Door approved.

Then, to everyone's GREAT SHOCK, Voldemort attacked. I know, I mean, no way? Anyone who is actually surprised by this should shut off the computer and go play with the sharp, shiny objects. Hey, I'm not a hater, play with the rusty shiny objects if you want.

So Voldemort attacked and Harry saved everyone! YAY! And then everyone went off into a hotel room and had wild sex with so many partners they couldn't keep count. Really cool, right? But sadly, someone died. Lets spin the wheel and find out who! Or at leats, I'm going to trail my hand across the keyboard and see who's name has the most letters in the string of: hagrid, ron, Hermione, Harry, Draco, and Ginny.

Qwedrthyuiopplkmjhgvfdqwert;plkjhgaswdf

And the winner is…Pansy Parkinson! Bye bye Pansy! She died, so Draco was kind of angsty. His angst and Harry's angst became lovers, which complicated matters since Harry was shagging Ginny while Draco was coming onto Blaise. Hermione then attacked Draco and they shagged wildly. Harry joined in, then Ron, then everyone else. Neville wa skicked out though, which made him angst, so the angsts had an orgy too and they let Neville be included in theirs.

-The End-

Insanity: That was therapeutic

Nina: You're face cuases people to need therapy

Insanity: I think Nina is overtired

Nina: Damn right.

Insanity; Thanks for reading!

Nina: SLEEP NOW!

Insanity: eep.


End file.
